Dear J, L, J, S, A, and Moose
--
(aka members of the Banned Ave Ranch-Pants Band),
…Howdy. S’your old pal, Ryan.
Ryan tryin’, sick of cryin’.
You know me now. How it’s easy for me to feel the hurt of a thing. Real easy. Too easy.
It’s my natural state, to tend toward the ‘im-’ part of impulse, the im —
Im —
I’m…
I’m. I.
I…
I. I. I.
— am.
I am.
Me. I.
I am me. Me.
Me. Me. Me.
Me. I’m.
Meme.
~fin~
~~~
So sad. I never fit in. People always misjudge me. Ohh Lord just please don’t let me be misunderstoOoOodd…
And nobody loves me,
And everybody hates me.
I might as well just be a worm.
A worm…In dirt.
Surrounded by mud… by Earth…
…A worm surrounded by dirt-y Earth…hmm, I think I feel a poem coming on… (editor’s note: “as if it wasn’t all a “poem” already *rolls eyes*)
A guide, to you and yours from me and mine:
_.;’^*+Ryan’s Surefire Steps+*^’;._
+*^’;._2 Glory and Success_.;’^*+
_.;’^*+ in 2024 (& the rest)+*^’;._
[1] Put Water on Earth.
[2] Earth drink, grow green.
[3] Water seep, [4] seeks sea,
[5] meets breeze, Air frees water
— up — up —
[6] up, sky water fluffs;
[7] fluffed water clouds;
[8] cloud water growls, [9] falls
— loud —
[10] groans, [11] bolts
[12] fire…fury…[13] fertilizer…
(But don’t forget to tend to the bones)
~^*-Epilogue-*^~
Water falls.
Water waters things.
Watered things grow
— from Earth.
From Dirt.
Things that breathe, things that burn
Things what feed…
what’s eventually hamburgers.
~~~
Uh… mighta got a bit away from me there…um
What I mean is:
Ahem,
Like lovely flower upon hill
Nor’ dusken Baker’s Field
Abreast prisoned walls either
O’er yon Sequioa’s dueling generals
In the year of Del Año’s — no. No.
No, that’s not it either.
Um. Look. In plain English. Here:
I just —
I —
My heart. You.
I’m thank —
thank —
You.
I’m thank —
I’m —
you
I’m thank you.
I’m heart. You.
I’m you.
~~~
Your welcome accepted and befriended me, earthbound shipwrecked alien
pretending to be human
or maybe the other way around and i have very rarely been myself to others, of years inauthentic — rejected regardless, I tried so hard and once I quit trying and looking and lying,
leaped off of faith
let universe decide —
I was broadened and bles’t
Blessed, redressed by
You guys.
~~~
I believe you guys believe but maybe more importantly desire me to succeed and I hope that even if the words or me ever or always fall short in making sense, I feel like I’m already accomplished, and if you like fish games or bets or lotteries, I’m betting on your placing bets on me and I promise, really, I’ll do everything in me to be water to your energy.
Ohana means family where I’m from. And family means no one gets left behind.
So this see you later, ne’er goodbye.
I love each of you dear, as sure as water falls from sky.
Mahalo,
Ryan Ry Ry Orion Oldboy blah blah blah…
— seeping, seeking the sea.
“Earth, Wind, Fire, And…”
By Oldboy
Prod. by Pixel Souls (“Victory”)
Lyrics & Arrangement by Ryan Chantz Perez
[Verse 1]
I’m so sorry that I
Just pick up and leave
I tried to tell it to you
Give you some sort of warning
But it’s not really new
There is this pattern, you see
It’s like I crawl, then I walk
Then I run away from me
It’s like I cannot get close
For the fear I might just sting
But it’s probably not you
It’s really me that I fear
It’s like I plant some flowers
And then I drown them in beer
I don’t believe I exist
It’s like I’m not even here
And without a container
I destroy more than I build
But sometimes the ground
Needs to quake to be felt
And sometimes a heart
Needs a shock just to beat
And sometimes it’s
Not quite enough just to eat
Sometimes you need some sleep
And some water to drink
But don’t think that water
Is just for your thirst, see
Sometimes water will storm
Sometimes it tsunamis
And it so often erodes rocks
But then it gives us a beach
And your bones might be sand
But your spirit is deep
And if your cells be water
Then you are made up of me
But water will run
It always finds ways to leak
It always flees to the coast
Somewhere it can just sink
I have to bury some ghosts
Before they bury me
And when I feel swamped
I always wish I was rain
So I could wash and could cleanse
And everyone would love me
Maybe do a little dance
And throw their hands up and sing
But I’m just water
And I have to be me
Because there’d be nothing to heal
If it wasn’t for pain
