Another Open Letter

This time a poem. Written incarcerated—George Bailey Detention Center, 2019.

Children,

How I love you, how I miss you, how I grieve
And how I mourn for your every loss
It will not be so long now before we again embrace
I can feel this empty space is narrowing now
And soon we will be together again how we used to be
And oh, how I wonder, which are your favorite colors now
And where do you hide your sorrows?
Is it dark there or cold?
And may I maybe be so bold and ask of —
If you can please possibly
Consider forgiving an old fool who did
Certainly most definitely betray you
Though not on purpose, I was nervous
The subconscious decided to fight
And but it don’t feel so right
But also if I may
I might tell you that also also
It was probably right
You see, sometimes the spaces in between
Need to develop and increase in ways
We cannot quite expect, and never can foresee
You see, sometimes
A shepherd must leave his flock
To follow a dream
And I think that someday you will see
But so often I cannot ever seem but to believe
That you believe that I did this
For anyone but me
But I promise you what I mean
Is these things had to be
Because for some reason
That is still unbeknownst to me
It’s that, me
I am probably important to
The whole big grand scheme of things
Which is to say that, really
It’s not me
It is you and your love
That do mean most everything
Otherwise I’d never have done
What I did do, then leave
But soon if you’re patient
You’re brave and believe
Then I’ll return to you
And we’ll be family.

Father